Talking Wiener Understandably Begs For Its Life

If a wiener could talk what would it say? Apparently it would beg not to be eaten and tell you about its spouse and kids. At least that’s what an anti-LSD video from the 1960’s would have you think. The three minute film sponsored by the US government chronicles a woman’s first acid trip as a teen. The woman explains how she was at a friend’s house high AF on weed and LSD, got the munchies and decided to head out to a fast food joint for a wiener. She then describes how the wiener she ordered started talking to her. It pleaded for its life and cried out in pain as she took a bite. I’m not calling her a liar but I will say her mouth was not wiener worthy! Why? Because at 0:40 seconds on the video she said ” I was very hungry and I put mustard, and ketchup, and relish, and the usual. And I had put the hot dog up to my mouth and somebody started screaming“. Well no wonder somebody (the wiener) shrieked. It didn’t want to touch her unrefined palate. Ketchup on a hot dog past the age of 4? Oh PUH-leez! This born and raised Chicagoian calls wiener foul. I’m on the side of the hot dog. I’d rather be chillin at home with the spouse and kids than be hanging with an unsophisticated chick that puts a juvenile condiment on her wiener.